Me and my silly best friend daydreams…

Don’t you want to end up with someone who knows how much you suck and still wants you for that? Don’t you want to end up with the person who has always been there for you through thick and thin, big and small, smiles and tears? Don’t you want to end up with someone you consider as your best friend? Of the opposite sex, I mean. (Okay, maybe of the same sex because that just really depends on you preference) but anyway…

All my life, I believed that when you set friendship into music, it can turn into love.

Ha! Yes, I’ve always wanted to end up with my best friend. Okay, not that I have any best guy friend right now (who isn’t taken or swooning over someone else) but yeah, I’ve always envied Dan and Vanessa’s friendship and relationship in Gossip Girl and Ron and Hermione’s of the famous and legendary Harry Potter. It’s great to have someone who knows your flaws and still accepts you for who are, someone who has witnessed you drooling while you sleep, snorting in the middle of your laughter and all the other embarrassing things that should turn a guy off or have him runaway and never come back. I’ve always thought that it’s cute to have a best friend to protect you all the way and all the time and then you’ll both realize that you have fallen for each other already. For me, that is a total cliché… but nevertheless romantic.

But… sometimes I think that it’s not as easy and sweet as it always turns out to be in movies, novels and TV series. It’s a huge risk, I know. It’s never too easy to gamble with friendship. Sometimes you win—and that’s usually going to be a good story on paper or TV—but sometimes… you lose. You lose your best friend. Ha-ha. And it doesn’t feel all too good. It never does. Trust me.

But, okay, for me… no, I wouldn’t stop dreaming. I never will. Duh. But I’m sure I’d be pretty cool with any another love story aside from my usual falling-for-my-bestfriend fantasy.

A Romeo and Juliet type? Maybe.

A love story with a social status issue? Wow, deep. Maybe.

A one-night stand? Uhhh, weird.

Ha-ha. Whatever. But yeah, I am UP for anything.

Not really over "SO OVER YOU".

Jimmy Foster finally spoke, and his words shifted the tectonic plates under my feet. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my system in ten years.”

Despite my heart slamming against my chest like a paddle ball, I teased him. “AP English but remedial math, huh? It may seem like ten years but—”

“It was a Wednesday.” He raised his head and pinned me with a dark gaze.

“What was a Wednesday?”

“It smelled like someone in the neighborhood was burning leaves. The air was crisp, but the sun felt really warm. You had messy braids and you were wearing a leopard-print jacket with black fur trim on the cuffs and collar.” I didn’t trust my voice, but I remembered my favorite coat quite clearly. I was seven.

He rubbed his face absently while looking into a faraway place that only he could see. “There were four or five of us sitting under the dome monkey bars, and we were talking about what we were going to be when we grew up. Michelle…something—I can’t remember her last name— said she wanted to be the president, and Cody Calloway told her he didn’t think that girls were allowed to be presidents. Out of nowhere, you exploded on him with this perfect left hook.” Foster laughed at the memory. “You just clocked him in the cheek. You stood up with your hands on your hips, and you told him, ‘You take that back, Cody Calloway. Girls can be anything they want to be.’ Your cheeks were flushed, and you were filled with all this righteous anger.” Foster looked at me. “Do you remember that?”

“Yeah,” I whispered. My voice… Where was my voice? I cleared my throat. “Of course I remember that. I couldn’t go to recess for two weeks because he told on me.” I still didn’t know what this was about, but Foster was sort of lost in his hazy memory. He smiled and began again. “I went home that day, and I wrote your name over and over on a piece of paper. I must have written it a hundred times. My mom found the paper a few days later in my sock drawer. She asked me why I’d done that…”

I wanted to know why more than anything I’d ever remembered wanting, but a part of me hoped he’d chicken out.

“I told her I liked the way your name made my heart jump.”

Tears welled in my eyes, and I gasped his name. Here I thought his kisses turned my world upside down. I didn’t realize his raw heart could unarm me so easily after all the years of building my arsenal of defensive weapons. Could it be that easy? In all the things I imagined, I never gave myself the room to fantasize about something healthy, a real relationship with him. Why was it that the scariest emotions I’d ever had were the honest ones?

“Foster, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do.”

“If we were seven, you would throw me a left hook.” I laughed through tears.

He reached across us to gently wipe the ones that had fallen. “If we were in a movie, the music would swell and we’d rush into a perfect kiss while the credits roll and the camera pans away.” His hand fell to his side and his face cemented into the mask of the hardened boy I’d known for four years. “Since it’s us, we’ll circle like boxers in a ring until one of us remembers the distrust. You’ll look at me with eyes full of doubt and wariness, and I’ll say something insulting to you so you feel justified.”

“Foster…” It was too late. I knew it as soon as he’d dropped his hand.

“You have a piece of lettuce in your teeth. See you tomorrow.”

- - -

If this was a show I swear I’d give it a full-blown standing ovation... plus a bouquet of freshly picked flowers. But it’s a book and I’m not much of a reviewer really.

But anyway…

If it’s not obvious that I like this book very much I’m going to say it again. I like it so much it makes my heart ride on an amazing rollercoaster and sum up all the giddiness in the world.

It made me laugh then cry and then practically do both at the same time.  It made me love James Theodore Foster. It made me realize that “I had no business inviting other people’s emotions into my life when I had no idea what to do with my own.”

So I suggest you read SO OVER YOU BY GWEN HAYES. Not only will you love the twist of the story and Layney’s stubbornness, you’re going to love Jimmy Foster, as well.

Because of boys.

1. Stay on the phone for 5 hours straight… without exactly saying anything just, you know, listening to each other’s constant breathing. Yes, I know, it was crazy. I can’t believe I just let our phone bills get too high just to listen to a guy’s breathing like… okay, why did I even had to do that? I could’ve just sat right beside some random guy and listen to his breathing too.

2. Stalk a guy a little too much. Not to the point that I go to wherever he goes or do whatever he does and stuff like that. I just googled him, then searched if he had a twitter account, then followed him on tumblr, then get to know more about him by asking other people and watching him from afar. It was weird. I didn’t want to just really come up to him and talk to him, you know. I was a little scared that he might turn out to be a total jerk.

3. I had a friend who was once so obsessed with Joe Jonas that he—I dunno how he did it—searched and bizarrely found Joe Jonas’ cellphone number. But that’s not how I do my thing to my British celebrity crush, RALG. I don’t hit for cell numbers… I go for direct home address. Hahaha. I’m not a burglar or something like that, I was just planning on sending him a letter and maybe if I get to travel to Europe one day, I would know where to start boy-hunting. I sound like a boy-magnet. Pffft

4. Listen to metal songs. That’s not really my kind of thing but there’s this guy who I liked who also liked these kinds of songs and he kept on suggesting them to me. My ears probably got immune sooner that I’d expected so yeah, you could still catch me with popping hard music blobbing from my earphones. It’s not exactly stupid because he basically got my mind open for a new genre of songs, which is kind of nice. At least, sometimes. For me. But if I ever get deaf of these songs, I’m practically going to throw a sliver of the blame at him.

5. Call a guy via phone and when he picks up, I hang up. Luckily, their phones didn’t have a caller I.D. thing which meant that I got away with it. And luckily, it was always him who picks up their phone. Hahaha. I’m sorry, Dood.

6. Write 63 poems, 5 originally written songs for a single guy who happened to like my best friend. Nice, huh? But seriously, just thinking about writing 63 poems makes me sick now. And I did it. But you know what’s worse than that? Writing those poems, posting those poems in Facebook and… tagging him. Like in almost every single poem that I posted as a note.

I feel a little good for looking back and laughing at myself at all these stupid things I’ve done. Right now, I’m not really looking forward to doing these things again. I’m done. Haha. Seriously. Ciao! 

Good for the health.

 

Ed Westwick. | Keir Gilchrist. | Charlie McDonnell. | Penn Badgley. | Callan McAuliffe.

I like Ed Westwick's role in Gossip Girl. But I love Dan Humphrey more, he may not be the best looking guy out there but his character is seriously lovable. 

And, I just watched "It's Kind of a Funny Story" and something about Keir Gilchrist reminds me of AJ Perez. :)

Callan McAuliffe's smile is so jaw-dropping and blog-worthy. My friend loves him.

AND lastly, Charlie McDonnell. He's a famous Youtuber, a nerd and a British guy with that knee-buckling British accent. Oh, Dood. He's amazing.

DISCLAIMER: Anyway, these pictures aren't mine. I haven't met these guys... yet. So yeah. Got these photos from tumblr, and Google. :)

Waiting for the calling.

Sometimes, I just hate novels with happy endings. Seriously. The whole story could bring out the giddiness in me but at the end of it, I’m all like, “Dude, why can’t that happen to me?” or to everyone else who, I think, deserves a really good love story?

In the Princess Diaries, which I am such an avid fan of, Princess Mia Thermopolis has the perfect Michael Moscovitz. In The Mediator series, Suze has one hot Jesse de Silva. In The DUFF by Kody Keplinger, Bianca has Wesley Rush with his complete suppleness. Juliet has Romeo, even if they both effing died. Ginny Weasley has Harry Potter. And Hermione Granger has Ronald Bilius Weasley.

<Insert sigh here>

Fine. Whatever. I can’t hate the stories altogether, anyway. I love reading and I love writing. I guess I just have to wait for my calling to become a nun and leave all these bitterness for good. Who knows?

Okay, I'm just kidding. Bye. :)

Things I would most likely want to do with a guy:

 WARNING: NO sexual intercourse involved.

1. Watch horror movies

I’m not a sucker for movies— and definitely NOT horror movies. They always give me nightmares and they stop me from entering restrooms all by myself (resulting to horrific kidney stones and… wet… stuff). BUT… I would definitely want to watch horror movies with a guy who’s not as chicken as I am. And for a plus, I could pull out all his hair whenever the scene in the movie gets too terrifying.

2. Take goofy pictures

I love to take pictures of everything… from that innocent little piece of leaf to faces of random people. I just think it looks cute when a guy is not scared to look silly in front of the camera. Lalalalalala.

3. Watch Gossip Girl

I know, I know. The series is full of epic drama, glamour and stuff. That’s why I want to drag a guy and let him watch the series with me. There are a lot of scenes there that I know guys would certainly love, so it’s going to be all right. Haha!

4. Dance pad! Dance pad!

I have two left feet and I suck at dancing. Trust me. I wouldn’t mind challenging a guy in this thing, though. There’s no harm in trying and… my pride’s what I have to lose.

Those awkward moments. :)

1. Your classmates found out that there’s porn in your phone.

 I HAD NO FREAKING IDEA. Not until they dug into my files. Honest. I don’t even know how it got there. Probably, it’s because of the received files from the Bluetooth thing.

2. When a boy brushes your boob.

Accidentally, I mean. If it’s on purpose then that’s not awkward anymore, you’re supposed to report that immediately.

3. Watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene flashes on the screen.

I’m like, “Oh my God... Should I just watch and act like I’m mature enough for this or should I just..? Oh never mind, I’ll watch.” No, I’m kidding. I still look away from the screen whenever a sex scene appears.

4. When you’re mind is floating and you’re sight is bored on someone else’s private part.

I am beyond guilty. (To my friends, don’t you ever tell me that you have never experienced this one. Haha. )

5. When an ugly /girl says that she is so ugly and you’re standing there not saying anything. At. All.

Really, would you actually have the guts to say, “Yeah… You have never been more correct in your whole life!”? Honesty is the best policy, I know, but not every single truth is supposed to be revealed. Seriously.

The Random NINES.

1. I’ve always wanted to achieve self-actualization and be super-duper-ultra-mega noble in everything I do. But honestly, I don’t think I could ever achieve this goal. Haha. Still, it doesn’t hurt to dream.

2. I sing in front of a turned-on electric fan.Shut up.

3. I love playing with other people’s hair. I usually twirl some hair of my girl friends and then push those hair into their noses. Haha.

4. My room is door-less. So I don’t have a hundred percent privacy here.

5. I am one of those few people who heartily support the Go Green Movement. And hey people, come and join us. It’s never too late…

6. I do sing inside my room with my very reliable hairbrush. It’s so pathetic. My ex’s current girlfriend, actually holds a microphone when she sings in front of hundreds of people in hotels and malls while I do my singing in my room, with my hairbrush and with my audience: my stuffed toys. How awfully comforting.

7. I am a little obsessed with nail polishes. My mom would usually wince every time she sees my brightly colored fingernails. I don’t care, though.

8. I write a lot. I keep a Journal, I update this blog once in a while, I write poems and songs, I doodle during class hours, but I don’t support vandalism. That is.

9. I have a thing with interior designing BUT I didn’t take that up for college. I’m taking up Psychology instead. There is no obvious connection between the two, apparently, but never mind.

Hideout.

This is where I unleash my hidden insanity. :)) BOOKSSSSSSS. <3

Man, was I bored...

 

  This was when I had my Journalism class and we discussed about photo journalism. BLAH BLAH BLAH

Lame-ness on the go.

I read my friend's blog once again. And I was like, "Oh God! What the hell? Why was I SO LAME?" Seriously.  
"Today, I told him about what we have talked about. He told me about your blog and so I asked for the link. He told me that if he'd give me the link, he'd be mean for you. If he doesn't give me the link, he would be mean for me. You know what he chose? He did not give me the link. You see?? He cares about you and you are important to him."
Just because he doesn't care about me the way that I always wanted him to, doesn't mean that he doesn't really care about me at all. It's funny how your emotions could make you blind sometimes. BUT... 
I regret nothing. Yeah, I sort of lost a couple of friends but I made new ones too. That doesn't really mean that I don't like my mga bai anymore... really, that's not the case. What I had with my mga bai will always be remembered and respected-- whatever happens. And hey, shit happens. 
I lost Brazil. Fine. How am I supposed to keep something that doesn't even want to stay, anyway? I was such a dweeb. I don't care about losing him now. I mean, what's the worse that could happen? I'm not going to die because of that. I'm perfectly fine right now. And heck, I even survived that end of the world load of crap yesterday. I'm freaking immortal, Dood! :P
Okay. This is just a definite proof that I'm a freaking human who makes mistakes and still regrets nothing. Oh well, how lame. TSK.
P.S. THE PICTURE'S NOT MINE. >:P

The so-called aftershock...

Despite all the nasty scenes I’ve seen, I’m actually convinced that this movie is very VERY awesome. Actually, I never imagined Princess Mia could be that… okay, whatever you call it, slutty or something. I do adore Anne Hathaway because she’s Princess Mia (and I’m a freaking fan of the Princess Diaries) but I never dreamed of seeing her tits. Seriously.

It’s sort of similar to Chapatti or Chips, though… because it involves a lot of the S word. And it’s just pretty cute to witness a guy like that fall in love, you know. I’m totally moved. Okay, not that I’m ever going to bang myself to anybody out there who sells drugs or something like that. I just realized that boys do fall in love. O_O

Whatever…

Favorite scenes and parts: (No S thing, Dood. Sorry!)

1.)    When Jamie asked Maggie they’d meet for coffee at Lulu at 5 and he arrived there earlier than five. Okay… and he said that Maggie has beautiful eyes. Hahaha. It was cute.

2.)    When he brought her some food and eating together on the bed. =) It was actually more decent than seeing them… you know, do it.

3.)     Jamie: W-w-wait, don’t hang up! Don’t hang up! Maggie: Why? Jamie:…I-I like hearing the sound of your voice.

4.)    When Maggie rode on a bus to go to Canada and Jamie waited for him all night at the spot where the bus would be back right after. Yeah, he waited for Maggie there. I hate how it’s so cute. It sort of upsets me now.

5.)    When Jamie confessed to Maggie that he loves her. And he has never ever said I love you to anybody else before—including his parents. Woah!

6.)    A cure for Parkinson’s? Yeah, yeah. When he tried to look for a cure or whatever for Parkinson’s.

7.)    Jamie’s drug reaction. Hahahahahahahah. Shut up! It was HIGHlarious!

Jake Gyllenhaal, anyway, looks like Flynn Rider. Wahaha. I’m just saying. Awwwwww. 

SUCKS

    

 I admit.

1.)    I suck in using adjectives. I feel like there’s a need to use a dictionary whenever I’m asked to describe things. But when I’m mad… I get to use all the twat-ty words I could come up with. And then voila! I’ve become a brilliant twat-ty adjective user.

2.)    I am alexithymic. I certainly find it hard to express myself through words. Okay, so I can deal with saying what I feel through poems and songs but hello?! You talk. You don’t deliver poems or sing songs all the time.

3.)    Boo to my Curling hair skills. I know I’m a pro when it comes to straightening my hair and my friends’ hair but I totally suck in curling hair. My customers in curling would then look like they just got off from an electric chair. Or maybe an electric bench.

4.)    Drawing hates me. To death.  I’ve tried so hard to work on my drawing skills and hidden talent but it doesn’t really work. My cats would look like rats and my braces would look like fences on bare hollow blocks. I don’t know why I am like this. My father is an artist and has taught arts in a college school. There must’ve been a wrong distribution of talent.

5.)    In Table tennis I’m pathetic. I hit tennis balls the way I hit shuttle cocks. I hit them hard. That’s why they fly off to other tables and get lost. And one more thing, I once laughed so hard while playing table tennis. My opponent hit the ball and it went straight into my mouth. MOUTH. That was because my mouth was wide open with my loud laughter. And the ball had to stay in my mouth for more than three seconds because they were all laughing at me and… I was too stunned to get it out of my mouth.

The ville.

I stay up until 3 am just to watch Glee over and over again. I don’t know what’s gotten in me these past few days. I’m getting addicted to this TV Show. Seriously, it’s just getting better and better.

Anyway, I had a Glee season 1 marathon yesterday. And I met Jesse St. James. And it was love at first sight… and first song. He’s so stunning; I can’t stop myself from pausing every scene that he’s in just so I could take a good look at his face. I can’t believe I am that serious. So, welcome to Jesse St. James-ville. Population, 2. That’s me and Jesse. Uhuh.

But then, according to my research… he’s gay. And my world then shattered into pieces. My bruised heart is utterly obliterated. I even feel like crying… until now.

I still haven’t seen the egg episode. And I think I would totally break into tears once I get to see that episode. You wait, world.

The one.

I'm not choosy, you know. I don't even go after the looks. (But I've always imagined someone who's brown-haired, though. I'm more into personality... and talents? AHAHA. :))


So... here I go.


1.) Taller... than a ruler.
2.) Someone who could sing.
3.) Someone who loves mellow songs too. (Or more like the songs that I love.) But then... if it'd sound so gay then maybe I would reconsider. :P
4.) Someone who talks about sensible topics. Maybe not about DNA, momentum, derivatives or java. But... someone who talks about life. :)
5.) Someone who reads books. Maybe not of the same genre of the ones that I read but if he reads books, he could be good with words. And I'd love that. =))
6.) Someone who doesn't sleep too much. What?! Do you expect me to watch him sleep and be all romantic? Come on, I could not do that all the time. 
7.) Someone who could make me love all the things that I've always despised. Like orange lights. Argh.
8.) Someone who's good in drawing. So we could draw stuff together. OR someone who could draw me without looking at me or my photograph. ;P
9.) Someone who could write poems.
10.) And someone who's as laid-back as Rupert. I appreciate rattle-free guys, you know. I'm scared of having a heart attack. :P

The Mountain View experience. :P

I have to say that I really, REALLY had fun. =) Thank you so much to the Science club for organizing this activity for all of us, to Mdm. Basadre for giving me a pit stop because she said I looked like I could already throw up, to Kuya Allan for helping us out and for looking like Dabid,  to the green team! (to Arnel for being real good in science, to Christian for the Safari! Wooh!, to Jedoi and Bunny for not leaving me, and to Nanay for being so laid-back. Hehehe.) and most especially, thank you to my batchmates for the great experience. =)

I'm a GLEEK now.

Sort of. Haha. :D

The forum.

There are a couple of things I learned from the Forum about sextortion a while ago.

1. Hymens can grow back.
2. Virginity is in your mind. Like, yeah, you could have your hymen back but that doesn’t erase the fact that you’ve already... done IT.
3. Prostitution is NOT a crime. As a matter of fact, prostitutes are considered victims.
4. There is such thing as a “Qualified Seduction.” And that happens when you’re a minor. I didn’t really get what Atty. Katrina Legarda said but that’s what I heard.
5. If you know someone who has been raped or abused, you can file a complaint for the victim. Yeah. Even if you were not the victim. Which is sort of cool, I think.

I really had fun there at Ayala Cinema 2. The host/facilitator was great and it felt like heaven when she said she couldn’t describe anything, all she could actually describe everything is: Amazing. And I also have that kind of thing. I mean, I am weak when it comes to adjectives. Anyway, I won a… wait, I don’t really know what this is… but I think it’s something you can put steamed rice on. =) It’s from the raffles. AMAZING!

"If this was a movie"

You're not supposed to bawl over fairy tales, are you? Because, really, I just did. After watching Tangled yesterday I feel like maybe my Flynn Rider is still imprisoned by now. And it makes me so sad. He has to get out of that jail. LOL. 

Okay, so I'm not falling for a thief- UNLESS he's as adorable as Flynn/ Eugene. 

Hmm. I guess I know now the frustration of not having a fairy tale kind of life. Because fairy tales are really good. And MY LIFE? No it's just SO NOT. It's a hellhole, even. 

What makes FLYNN RIDER HOT:

1. He's a thief but he doesn't look like a tambay-criminal kind of thief. He's more like... a decent thief. 

2. He sings. And he's freaking good at it. Thanks to Mr. Zachary Levi, anyway. Haha!

3. He is just so ROMANTIC. The boat-thing-while-watching-the-lanterns is really cute. It's so romantic... even for a thief. ;)

 4. He's a really good in tower climbing. Which is sort of... rare for me. And maybe for the rest of you, too.

5. BECAUSE HE'S JUST HOT. HOT. HOT. The only problem is that, when he gets super hot.. he could get into flames.. since he's only a cartoon character. :-/

WELL, you just can't blame me. The movie is AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME! 

So, My Flynn Rider, Come on! Where the heck are you?!

2010-- you were good but I need cash. :*

DEAR 2010,


First of all, I would like to thank you for giving me a hard punch on the face. Too bad you didn’t know that Manny Pacquiao and I are of the same bloodline. NOT.

But well, even though you were a bit hard on me, I still learned a lot from you. Like how good things come to an end. And like how lucky I am to have friends that would stand by me always—during school days and laag days. Friends who would dare hit me and hug me after. Friends who are just as psychotic as I am. Friends who would prove to me what real friendship means. Friends who acknowledge my feelings without judging me. And friends whom I love.

And 2010, you showed me that my family really did care about me.  I know it’s stupid of me to realize it this late. But well, it’s better late than never, really.

I mean, 2010, you were scary enough to shake my emotional infantry. But hey, I am a genius so I survived you. Even though that infantry was an unarmed one. Yeah. FUTILE.

Let’s face it. You were not the best year but you were good. Good enough to be at the better stage.

2010—you were good but I need cash.

Love,

Dianeeee

SPECIAL THANKS:

1.) GOD. For helping me survive that edgy year. :)

2.) My family. (Relatives, too)

3.) BOBS! Xangy and Jerlala! REALLY, it's the JERBEDI love that's keeping us together... for long.

4.) POG!! People of Gaganess/Gwaponess. Crissley, Kadota, Mac, Bru, Inting, Hua, and Cody. Hahaha. Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun with you. Well, hoping for more fun this 2011 and for the coming years. ;)

5.) My PP readers. Kadota, Crissley, Lobot, BOBS, Hua, Inting, Daut, and Mac. Thank you for reading all my endless prattles about my boring life. Hehehe!. :)

6.) LobotS, Aming, and Bananako. Thank you for making friends with me and for giving me a chance to show you who I really am. I mean, you came unexpectedly. But I'm still glad that that happened. 

7.) Jid. Haha. Even if you're mean to me sometimes, I still want to thank you for being my textmate last summer. Haha. I consider you my friend, of course. Even if you don't consider me as one yours. Friends, I mean. Thank you!.

8.) Mga Bai. Yeah. I miss you. Thank you for everything. I know things change, people change... but I will always love and respect the friendship we shared. :) 

9.) Rupert Grint, Adam Sevani, and Robert Scwhartzman. You were my handrails, really. I would never survive 2010 without your existence. Hahah! I had fun stalking you guys.  Well, it wasn't really stalking... it was "gathering information for specific purposes". That is. 

10.) Effour. Hahah. Ange. Kat. Max. Heehee. Thanks for ASKING ABOUT MY boring lovelife. Hahah!. LOL. Well, thanks for the time you've spent with me. Hahaha. :* I miss you guys. Yeah. GUYS. 

I love you all. I wish we'd have more time together this year. Even though it sort of sucks because we'll be graduating and we'll be into different colleges now. (Well, the graduating part doesn't really suck.. Just the being-away part) I will miss you guys. :)) :*